WDJD: What Did Junebug Do?

So, a lot of you have been asking … ah, thank you for indulging me. It doesn’t matter how many (little) of you have been hounding me (one person, my sister who asked once) about what I actually do all day or what a week IML looks like. Because, the answer is- yes, of course I will talk your heads off a little bit more about my life. So, let’s get right to it and by that I mean here is the debatably important (full) backstory. As I’d alluded to in a previous post, the high of quitting my job did hit a plateau and it was unfortunately February, which is not when I recommend for hitting a plateau of any kind. It’s dark, dreary, cold, gray, and everyone is sad or mad. Even if everyone is only me. And though it is the month of my birthday!!! Which I celebrate with full vigor and force everyone else around me to hit that high as well, it still doesn’t hit like a nice, warm spring day would. So it’s an uphill battle I think every way it’s sliced- even with very exciting blessings I’ve had in my life of Feb: baby pepper (2024), corporate retirement (2025), obviously my birthday (1993-). With all of that in your mind’s eye, and knowing my penchant for drama, you might be guessing that I might have gotten a little spooked and discouraged, that maybe this was rash. Perhaps …  I lost my cool there, uprooting and changing our entire life, or whatever. Of course I had those moments, particularly in the dark and damp empty mind I had after cutting loose the biggest occupier of my mind, time and commitment (read: yob) I had ever had. I only had to think about … us! That is a privilege and I don’t want to undercut or undersell that wonderful gift, but that does leave some room for the ‘idle hands are the devil’s playground’ vibe to take hold. So of course, I started looking at jobs JUST IN CASE I was wrong. That lasted all of one day and thankfully the Lord had mercy on me and reminded me, girl- it’s been a month. Be cool. Only with Jesus at my side have I been able to make it this far, into the ukno(oooo0o0o00o)wn (Frozen II). For anyone thinking of embracing this incredible vocation, recently made the jump, or even just vocation-curious, this is for you. “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31)  and you don’t even have to take my word for it to believe it’s worth everything, you can experience it yourself. 

On every nice day, when in doubt- go outside. If nothing else you get some Vit D and it takes up time :)

Okay I promise to keep it (mostly) real and ease up on the infomercial sounding lines, even though I mean it- I get it. So let’s get real- February 2025, dark and sad with bits of light, high has worn off and everyday feels longer than the last. By this time I had already visited several people, went up to the beach for a few days, sent some fanmail to my former co-workers and finished three books on Catholic conversions/lifestyles. It was definitely a ‘now what?’ situation with two (three) yowling girls chomping at the bit to do something, anything, go anywhere??? That’s the thing about going from 100-0, the silence and boredom are overwhelming, at first. Don’t worry the story goes up, but believe me it was do0o0ooo0wn bad for a few weeks to months before it got better and has since leveled off in the black. I’m painting this hauntingly beautiful picture to appropriately set expectations and obvi tell my tale. The hustle, the neverending days, the seemingly thankless tasks, and every other normal challenge of life still goes on but now looks quite different from the ‘modern’ set up. When I was a working mother, my days were nothing but hustle, neverending and largely thankless because there was no time to feel anything else! To go from wild overstimulation to frightening silence and understimulation (is that a thing?) has its own learning curve that’s totally normal. During the first few months of this new life as I knew it, I felt guilty for feeling bored and frustrated with the lack of direction. I was worried I was slapping God in the face for the crazy, unbelievable dream of staying home to raise my children because I was uncomfortable with the amount of downtime, on edge about the lack of activity in our day-to-day, and felt like I wasn’t doing enough to earn this opportunity. What did I have to show for it? I had to unlearn everything I had learned since forever about day-to-day life, get comfortable with boredom and silence, reset expectations for what my children need versus simply keeping them occupied. And the worst, most painful and anticlimactic answer at the end was (is)- time. It takes time to develop new habits, cultivate a slower, hustle-less schedule, and feel the weight of previous, modern-day expectations melt away. Like with any change, the first few days to weeks to months are the PITS and we should give a wide berth (grace) to those trying to navigate it. 

“Don’t you have a feeling that greater peace and closer union will come to you when you have responded to that extraordinary grace which is asking you for total detachment? Struggle for His sake, to please Him: but strengthen your hope” St. Josemaria Escriva, The Way, No. 152. Even though it is the blessing of blessings, that does not mean it will come easily and I don’t think God wants that for us. Suffering is part of life, it is inescapable and as soon as I changed my mindset from: ‘when is this going to get better?’ to ‘how can I serve my children, my husband, my home [with the help of His grace]? - the sun started to peek through the clouds. It is very easy and arguably natural for any new working-to-SAH mother to focus inward, evaluate how you’re feeling, how to handle the days without structure and activities from dawn to dusk, because it’s important! How you feel is important and God does not want us to be miserable just for the sake of white knuckling through any hardship. I think as mothers we also know that our children are watching us, we want to set a good example and if we’re unhappy or going through a challenging time, there is a worry that will rub off on, or at least be noticeable to, our children and husbands. I am highly qualified as a mother to say- all of those thoughts (mine, how convenient) are normal. Where things can get hairy is dwelling on those feelings, stewing in the frustration and newfound boredom, because that will lead to resentment and undue further frustration and discontent. The first and hardest part is ripping the band-aid off, everyone knows that. The second and most important but always left out of the analogy part, is the healing of whatever wound we’re ripping the band-aid off from. So to recap- the totally normal and expected roller coaster begins with the high of highs escaping the tank to the frightening realization that you’re in the water floating in plastic bags with no idea how the ocean works. Next comes the plateau of boredom and wandering in the desert for forty years, maybe looking for jobs or praying for another sign that this was just a menty b - I’m not actually one of those moms who can stay home with their kid(s). Only once you’ve been stripped of the modern attachments, the little luxuries, occupied lifestyle and rundown, overworked and underthanked version of motherhood can you feel the beginnings of joy in the mundane, content in the monotonous, peace with the quiet and fulfilled vocation of motherhood as God intended. Rip the band-aid off and KEEP GOING. Don’t stop ripping, resist the urge to turn back and look for jobs, keep your eyes on the Almighty and you will get through the pits. Reset your expectations- know that it will be hard and there will be days that you can’t wait for them to end. But know that time is undefeated, it never stops moving forward and so will you, IF you choose to. Choose to keep going, keep trying to get used to the new set up, and along the way you will find two tangible gems- it does get easier and you find new habits that you fall in love with. 

Very normal and expected stage of SAHMhood

As time ever does, it rolls on- February rolled into March and then into April and so on. Yes, I swear it. And thank God because warmer days and more sunlight helps everything, even if it's against your will. No shame in succumbing to seasonal depression, that’s why we have warm ones to help survive the cold ones. Metaphorically and meteorologically. That word was way too long. Anyway enough about the seasons, we all know how it goes and feels. When the weather warmed and the (my) mood lifted, I noticed a new spring in my step that hadn’t been there before. Go figure! I had survived the dreary pit of despair that is February and early March and was now looking forward to how I can capitalize on that spring, double entendre. The most obvious answer was gardening, because now I had time and space to give it a try (and fail)! I have written about that previously, so I’ll save you all from that rehashing (for now) and share some other activities we found ourselves getting into. Staying home, as we’ve belabored, comes with a lot of down time and we do have to get used to that. That means finding ways to be at home that can be creative, productive and good for the home and family, that aren’t just busywork. Things you put off indefinitely become painfully obvious and unavoidable- changing those clothes out, getting rid of toys that just take up space, throwing away old food (we all have it), putting things away. Literally, just putting things back where they’re supposed to be- groundbreaking. New recipes, sourdough trying and failing and finally mastering, learning how to cook and bake became happy, fun parts of my new daily routine. Things I loved before having kids but had no time for until now. So on the roll I found myself I kept on, and then I found a very wild hair to start regularly cleaning my home and baking a new bread or treat every week. Por ejemplo- on Wednesdays we wear pink and on Thursdays I change and wash all of the bedsheets in the same day… Yes, we went to sleep with fresh sheets on the bed before bed. I don’t know the last time (if ever) we washed, dried and applied the bedding before drudging up the stairs to a bare mattress and dreadful realization the sheets were still in the laundry room. Now do not be fooled, this schedule is loose and I miss a few Thursdays here and there. Grace is a gift from God we don’t earn but are bestowed with, take it. Revel in it, thank Him and try again the next day. What’s more- I found myself not hating this housework or resenting that recipe, which slowly gave way to smol bits of … ENJOYMENT? Now again, not every time and I’m not claiming to be Snow White whistling whilst I work and baking homemade pies. I’m just saying there has been an unexpected comfort in keeping a clean home (most times) and giving those hours of service to God. Highly recommend and I have to admit- when I do things around the house for the glory and service of God, I find myself trying a little harder, putting a little more elbow grease into it, actually moving things off the counter to clean the whole wretched thing. And get this- it feels very nice and cozy to be home when your home is neat, clean and tidy. Depending on the age(s) of your child(ren), they will also want to help (sometimes, eventually) and that’s something we’ve come to enjoy doing together. The dishes may take half an hour, but that’s what we have all this time for! 

Enough about the innings, what about the outings? That is another new feature we’ve been exploring and having fun (sometimes!) with. If you are blessed with means to go out somewhere every day of the week, that is incredible and I do encourage anyone to do what is best for their set up. We live in a more rural area that isn’t necessarily close to anything, so any outing is kind of a to-do. As in, I pack lunches and plan to be out all day a la field trip energy. It depends on your child(ren) but there are plenty of child-centered places that are free or you could ask a grandparent to sponsor (pay for, thank you Gran!!!) such as the Children’s Museum, outdoor farms / play yards, the mall???, regular old museums, and other things of that sort. The more local haunts we hit every week, mostly without fail, are a daily mass one day, the library another day, and usually the grocery or feed store for whatever we need that week. These regular weekly trips helped build relationships with those in our community, which led to invitations for moms groups and kids playdates. There is an incredibly large and very cool group of mothers in our church community that have children of all ages, and hearing these more seasoned mothers talk about the challenges of the early years was too comforting. Young mother-/childhood is lots of fun but also very isolating and lonely, it’s hard when they can’t dialogue with you and you’re mainly just feeding and keeping them alive. Finding and joining other mothers with children of all ages is critical to the SAHlifestyle. Otherwise you wither away at home waiting for death to come. That is not what God designed or wanted for us, I can attest. It’s not my bag baby to meet new people or attend new group functions, I only like snakes and sparklers. But it isn’t about just me anymore and as with everything else, after a while I got more comfortable and even became friends with a lot of these other ladies. It takes time. Give it the time you would give to any other new thing in your life and you will find the joy that is waiting for you and your child(ren). For anyone in this transition, at the beginning or middle or even the wellest of seasoned SAHMs, I will pray for you! It’s worth it, worth everything. 

Performance art (VMFA)

Swipe up (keep scrolling) for a table version of what a WIOL looks like! This is an example of how I structure our week, some weeks look exactly like this and others are a total crapshoot and look nothing like this. We don’t always make it out to a play group or a museum, and not every chore gets done on the day I schedule. But I’ve found when I try to keep to a loose routine, the days go a little smoother and I feel a little more in control. Some of us work best when we stick to a schedule, others do better when things happen organically. That is the beauty of this vocation- you know yourself and child(ren) best. Lean in to those strengths, rely on God for the weaknesses and the rest will come.

	Home	Away
Monday	Does anyone do anything on Mondays? Usually this is a catch up day from the weekend- tidying, starting laundry, cleaning the kitchen	Grocery/feed store, based on the list from the Friday before
Tuesday	Floors	Moms group/kids play group
Wednesday	Bathrooms	Mass
Thursday	Beds	Discovery Museum, VMFA
Friday	Meal/schedule for next week planning, recently ‘school’ planning for Maeve	Library