Out: Treat Yoself; In: Fast Yoself

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Hens and Gents! With a new year, we must perform the obligatory resolutions exercise and buy the spinach to rot in the fridge for ceremonial purposes. From one hen to another- this is not hyperbole, there is a spinach carcass waiting for trash day and if we’re still between us- when is trash day really? It’s a moving target around here. ANYWAY what we don’t leave in 2025 is rambling. Now, let’s fire off some resolutions! As always, I will go first and I appreciate your understanding that I am the Ricky Bobby in this relationship. But I’m going to switch it up a little bit (you’re still not going first, I am)- rather than toss back and forth the ideas of what to try, what to cut out, what to watch out for, and all the rest that rarely lasts past the agonizing first year of January; I want to pose an alternative idea to the group. I am going to make fasting FETCH so strap in and enjoy the ride. 

Me to my readers

First, let me yap your heads off about what I mean by fasting. Even today, my gut level mental picture is a negative experience, starving somewhere desperately waiting for the break part of the fast. But that’s the critical point! Fasting requires the break at the end, not just for an optional but always delicious part of the day, but to complete the intended objective. Semantics (pedantics?) aside, there is more to fasting than starving and once that lesson sunk in, the practice changed the way I relate to the little luxuries life is supposed to have in store for us. Once I stopped looking at fasting as a medieval torture method and more as a practice to sharpen my resolve, strengthen my discipline, cleanse and refine my palate - it has become a simple yet incredibly effective habit that is part of my daily life. Whoever doesn’t need better habits cast the first stone, the one time I’ll give up my rule of going first. The truth is, putting limits in place and adhering to them (most of the time) allows for the ultimate freedom. Only when you know where the lines are can you really let loose and feel good about the loose letting. Now this isn’t to say there isn’t an agonizing learning curve and some days you’re cranky as all get out and just want to pout and eat Reese’s Easter eggs … present company included, that is part of the process. To grow necessarily means a hard look in the mirror, see what can and should be changed vs what should remain, and try as you might to implement it. But the real doozy is only by choosing to grow in my faith, choosing better for the sake of the Savior, choosing to say no more than yes to myself, was only possible with the grace granted by our Lord. I didn’t and couldn’t have done this work, continue to practice (and fail!) and choose to keep trying everyday without Him. Both in the spiritual sense but also in the IRL practical sense. Walk with me, let’s keep rapping. 

Did you know that the largest fish in the world is the mantarey? Much to my and Posh Spice’s surprise, fasting doesn’t always have to be about food. There are other ways to apply the practice that are more relatable and effective in your (my) life that yes, you’re going to read about. I realize this isn’t as fun or delicious to talk about, treats are objectively more fun, but my hope is that by sharing bits and bobs about the experience will give it some new PR. (That’s your PR?). Twenty years late to the game, I recently read Matthew Kelly’s Rediscover Catholicism where he has an entire chapter dedicated to fasting. Twenty or two thousand years doesn’t tarnish the shine on good ol Godly wisdom, and what was true then is true now. “The truth is, you cannot be healthy and happy without discipline. In fact, if you want to measure the level of happiness in your life, just measure the level of discipline in your life. You will never have more happiness than have discipline. The two are directly related to one another” (Kelly, 2002, pg. 236). The Church, as is often (always) the case, has to be the voice of reason, the sobering message that no- we can’t have it all, when we want, as we want. It doesn’t work that way and the sooner I learned that, the sooner I could start disciplining myself. At first- it sucked. The first six months or so were like the first year of January- when is this going to end??? But as the story always goes, once I got the hang of it- the discipline became a friend rather than a foe. Like the third brother from the deathly hallows, I greet discipline as an equal rather than trying to outwit or outrun what inevitably catches us in the end. 

As I’ve previously rambled on about, watching television is my favorite pastime and I am no longer ashamed to come right out with that. But as you may imagine, that is not the healthiest habit and only a fool would think otherwise. I was the fool for thirty-one years, so no shade throwing here. For the first time in living memory over the past year, I did not have a television in my bedroom but rather only in the common living area/rooms. This might sound like a first world problem, and it is, but it had a personal and profound impact on me all the same. There was nothing I enjoyed more than laying down and watching as many reruns of NCIS or SVU before my husband cut me off, letting hours roll into days and so on and so forth. But that quickly crept into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Little Einsteins rolling on for hours at a time, which presented a couple of problems. First, of course, I couldn't watch my own shows and that was quite the thorn in my side. Second, it created a habit for my toddler that was quickly getting out of control. It was too easy to turn on an episode, set her up in front of the tube and go on about my business I hadn’t been going on about earlier in the day. This is not an indictment on that practice, I know all too well the need for a break and frankly a distraction so that the rest of the house or my work could be tended to. But third, and probably the most damaging, is that it was replacing time I should (and now long to) spend with my children. As is often the case, often not always, benign or even mindless things can take on a life of their own. Fasting offers a protection against the raging avalanche that leaves the slippery slope in the dust. 

To move from the meta to the to real life-ah, here’s what I mean- by fasting from having/watching television in my bedroom, there was less reason for me to loaf around in there for hours on end. In turn, that created less of an opportunity for my children to observe that behavior but also removed the temptation to set them up in front of it as well. Now please don’t misread me, we still gather round and watch plenty of shows and films together- but that is the point! Together. I don’t always love watching Dragon Tales or Big Comfy Couch and my girls don’t love watching NCIS, but we do it together. By together during my shows I mean they’re bouncing around and sending toys flying past my eyelashes, but we’re together in the same living room paying bits of attention to each other and whatever is on. During their shows is usually when I can catch up on laundry or ten second tidy, which of course they “help” with. I’m smiling through the tears as I write help in air bunnies. I’m not alleging this is peak quality time or even a healthy habit in and of itself, but looking back from where we started- it’s p good progress that I hope to continue building on. Something I can only keep hoping and building on because of my renewed relationship with Jesus Christ. HELLO here we go, back to the big G. But just try to think about any reformation or resolution you’ve tried in your own life- has it really stuck? I hope so, truly! For me, it never has. I’ve never met a plan I didn’t abandon pretty immediately because it was too hard. It WAS too hard because I was trying to do it alone, on my own by sheer will. That does not work, at least for me. I have to rely on God to pray to, cry to, beg for mercy to, devote to and offer every shred of discomfort and suffering to in order to survive. I haven’t left any flair for dramatics in 2025- to clear that up. Only through His grace and unconditional, eternal love is it possible for me to (try to) live well, teach my children to (try to) live well, and really appreciate the beauties and treats around us. 

Girls (present photographer included) doing critical work to help chop down our Christmas tree :)

Another fast I’ve taken on, albeit unintentionally as in I didn’t set out to do this- is social media. As you all know, I still have Facebook of course- how else would I reach my hens in this day and age! But I don’t have the app on my telephone anymore, I only scroll after I post on my 2013 refuse to die Macbook that I paid for with my student loan money. Read: my husband is now (still) paying this off :) We’re all in this together, Wildcat millennials. I deleted my Instagram, TikTok and Twitter apps (not accounts) in the fall of last year and haven’t looked back. I didn’t delete the accounts themselves because they are full of memories, saved videos or posts that make smile and howl, and serve as a time capsule of sorts. As with literally everything that comes about as a new invention, social media can be used for immense good and connections with people we may otherwise never see or rarely see again. In a small way, I think it can also serve as a reminder or a testament for remembering why I left them behind in the first place. Fasting from social media paved the way for me to let go of other bad habits or struggles- like comparison, unrealistic expectations, undue frustration and plenty of other vices I have had and likely will combat again. Fasting from social media and television have also freed me in ways I never would (could) have fathomed before, because I only ever thought of fasting as it relates to meat on Fridays during Lent. Not to diminish the importance of that, because it is the utmost, but the practice can and should be applied to anything in life that could be better controlled. Perhaps more spiritual than actual, fasting is a necessary exercise that will only strengthen our minds and bodies, prepare us for difficult times and temptations ahead, and ultimately lead us closer to God. “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God” Matthew 4:4. I’m not pulling a St. Catherine of Siena living only on the Eucharist for seven years, or suggesting you all do that! That is a labor of love that she fully committed to and should be modeled after, as we search for our own ways to hear the word of God calling out to us. 

To anyone rocking it all the way around, more kudos to you and say a prayer for the rest of us! For anyone looking to clean up some habits, maybe feel a little lighter, or just dabble with growing a little deeper in their faith- I can’t recommend this spiritual exercise enough. So here’s my pitch- leave frost and treat yoself in 2025. What’s fetch for 2026 (and the soul) is fast yoself! Maybe it’s doom scrolling, maybe it’s eating out, maybe it’s just this article to get you thinking about it? Whatever it is- God is with you. Do it for and WITH Him, He will see you through.